Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Amberdale's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
3:14 pm	happy 4:20 ya i'm jsut sittin here with wes! he's cool, jeremy smells funny!!:-) ya well luc is a stoner, he's funny too i guess i cant wait to blazeeeeeeeeeee again;) ya well wes is RADICAL!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, December 3rd, 2004
7:53 pm	"if only i knew where to exit..." Well it's been awhile since i've updated. I've been really i busy i guess, well thats what people always blame everything on huh?? "no i'm too busy, i can't help you.." just think about it. Basketball's just begining to start up, it's goin to be crazy. My coach said we have about 35 games this season!!! wow. yeah... I'm still smoking. I don't know, i know i have to quit but its not the right time i guess, i've had some really major stresses in the past lil while and quitting wouldn't help the situations anyhow. So since my mommy doesn't want to add to my stress level she's started buying my smokes. Its really helpin. i love her sooo much, even tho i don't always make the greatest effort to show it most of the time. But i really do love her and don't know what i'd so without her... Everything just seems to be happening all around me and i know i'm not taking enough time to appreciate all of it, even tho i should. I'm missing out on so much and i know it. Its a mad world, plain and simple. Current Mood: gloomy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 15th, 2004
9:00 pm	Mr . T yay!!! woot woot i'm goin out with Mr. T!!! i'm soo cool!!! go me!!hes soooo cool... i mean yummy.lol teehee i can't believe how cute he is... Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 11th, 2004
5:44 pm	yess well.... wow, i havn't updated in a while eh?? well alots been happening, so i have been busy. well today was remeberence day! this is my favorite day of the year because i take so much pride in the fact that my daddy is in the military and also that my grandpa surved in the second world war!!! so this mourning all the scouting sections along with all the guiding ones went doen to the senataf at JDF and had a ceremony!! it was really cool. so now i'm just chillin with marie and we're goin to venturers tonight and we're cleanin up trails around our meetin place... its goin to be so cold!!!! Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Monday, November 1st, 2004
9:33 pm	umm wtf**giggles**...oh well ok well this wekend was perrtyt good. friday merie and i went to the gym and then swimming!!! it was fun i guess, it felt nice after our basketball practise!!! well ya the basketball practise was out last tryout for the jounior ! team at belmont.. i almost died cuz i couldn't breath once, it was so scary. and i do know why it happend.....ok so then on saturday we just hunged out and that night we went to the teen center. it was awesomely fun. then it waqs sunday. yes it was halloween!!! meria was a she devil and i was a mechanic!!! we went to belmont park and ran around for a few hours. it was so much fun!!!! well now.....today is the end of monday. i have had an interesting day **giggles** and well i found out today i made the A team for basketball. woot woot my dad's gonna be so happy!! but the stupid thing is that marie didn t make it too:( i donno what i'm gonna do without her, so i'm bummed and that worst thing is that i know i havce to quit smoking.....(well don't evewryone jump for joy ) lol ya i know i have to cuz i will jusat hurt myself and the team if i keep doin it. but w/e i will make something work.... ya well i don't feel good tonight, for any other day for that matter. i donno really i have had a really harsh few months....i donno i'm starting to feel way too overwhelmed with everythign now!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 17th, 2004
9:24 pm	i'm replaying all the memories in my head, i hold on to the everlasting seconds i held so close to my heart. i find myself thinkin of him constently... and u kno what... i fucking hate it. i hate him fot what he has done to my life. and i hate myself even more for thinking i actually deserved somethign as great as he was!! well now i'm lost, hurt and confused and just messed up inside. i donno anymore what to believe in or what to think. why the fuck does this hurt so bad... Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 14th, 2004
10:46 pm	as the ashes fall so do my tears..... god forgive me, there is no god strong enough to redeem my sinns. (Comment on this)
6:30 pm	here....? nothing is gettin any better, it feels like everything is goin downhill. and i can't stop, i'm falling down with nothing to hold on to. what the fuck do i do?? i don't know how to make things better. this it ripping me apart inside. nothing i do makes me feel good, i do drugz. to escape. to take a break from all this shit.... and u know what............ i don't give a fuck ok?? ya fuck everythig fuck love fuck friends fuck homework fuck life Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
2:49 pm	humm... school..... Well i'm at school right now. i'm sapost to be doin socials. oh but i am but not the book kind.-teehee- today was perrty cool. it started by me and my mommy, he had to go downtown to get a precription written for me for my surgery tomorrow. (mouth surgery) woot woot. so i got to the bus back all my myself from downtown in the moring. and i got to school just as the frist class. so it wasn't too bad, and the rest of my day was stupid. just stupid i had double block of PE. and i'm still tired from basketball yesterday moring. auto was awesome me and my boyfriend Kevin were in the toolroom. and we had just sat and burned out and ATE!!! so now i am sittin with alisha in the libary and i'm gonna go have a smoke!!! (sorry)**sad face** Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 10th, 2004
11:22 am	thanks..... Well thanksgiving is today. "so what is everyone thankful for?" me i'm thankful for MARIE-she is my shinning star, best friend in this whole wide world!! if i didn't have her i don't know what i'd be. i love u man, thank you. My family-always supportive, comming together when we really need it, thank you. Friends-they are what keeps life interesting, they make a day complete. thank yous. well me and kevin are now goin out!! i went to his house frieday after school and didn't get home till 11pm. it was awesomely funs!!!kisses to kevin-- saturday was a Marie day, we hunged out and went to the B/P!!! we had a great time and kevin even came all the way out there to see me!!! what a pal!!. and now, rigth now. i'm not all that great i just wrote kyle again, its like if i hear the name Kyle or if i let myself slip and think of him and what we had i fell into my all too commin depression.... i just don't know what to do anymore... can anyone help me????????? well best be off to clean the house for tonight!!! ...Aurevoir... Current Mood: blank (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 26th, 2004
10:20 pm	the ending,,, a new beginning??( i think not) WEll i went to mardi-gras(a venturer cam in vancouver) it was ok i guess, well at least the frist part. friday - my group got here early like at about 4, we set up then marie and i went to look for our friends....(kyle) well we found him, and he wouldn't even look at me...... i never cried so hard. it was the worst feeling int he world. i mean i loved him and do still care about him, its just the fact that he wouldn't say two words to me. it really hurt, more then anything i've felt in a long time.... then i met some new pplz. it was awesomes, i got to have a smoke which i really needed after the preceding eevents. so i sat around their fire, chilled ate some pizza. then me and another guy went to a chilf it was beautiful, he was sucka chill guy was just sat and talked. so later when we got back from our adventure to the chilf, me and this really hot, smart, funny guy who i was sittin on were just talking and started gettin close and then made out and one led to another and ya w/e i'm not proud of what i did. w/e i guess shit happends,but that was the funnest part of the whole weekend. pertty sad eh? well the next day only got worst. i won't go into detail i'll just say it was a waste of a weekend. i could just let myself dance at the dance. i was depressed and tryin to lok for kyle ( i donno why) so it was so stupid....well i found kyle by chance in a slow song, and he barely touched me, and didn't look at me the tho time, by the end of our dance together, i was in tears. so i ran to find marie and cried on her shlouder. i love her so much!!!!! i donno what i would do without her!!! so ya well, the next moring on sunday commin home me and marie were in really bad moods about stuff with our group. and so we just chilled together. well i guess thats it, i left alot out, so if anyone wants to kno the points i missed just come talk to me!! Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 16th, 2004
5:13 pm	oww well today i didn't have to go to school, but i didn't go somewhere any better. i had to go get a root canal:-( yucky well it's all gross and stuff but i did get sitches!!! woot woot lol well now i have to have a piece or guase in my mouth, its so icky. but its ok i'm though :-P and a shitty thing is i have to get the exact same thing done again next month on the other side... not lookin forward to that....  well on a happier note i actually talked to Kyle yesterday night!!! omg i miss him, i've done stupid things, but i'm realizeing just how much i miss him and everything we had!!! but it's takin a big toll on me:-( i hate this FUCK no one gets it.......... w/e Current Mood: dirty (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
10:30 pm	what have i done..... its all startin to hit me. wtf, i'm stupid, i need to change!!!!now or i'll be like this forever. i'm such a slut. i'm sorry. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 12th, 2004
12:05 pm	well it's sunday now, where did my weekend go?? marie's has been sleepin over for the past two night tho, i love her so much and i don't kno what i'd do without her. friday- friday was awesome, i came home from school, then went to the gym with marie!! my friend trevor rode his bike from colquitz to the jdf in the pouring rain just to see us!!! it was so super nice of him to do that. saturday- woke up with marie to take the dog out, later on me and her went for our own "girl walk" it was super!!! then we came home and just slept all day long, it was wonderful. that night we took the bus out ot see felicia and walked around tillicum. sunday- it's only 12:10 on sunday right now and i havn't been that productive. i have stuff to do , but i don't have any motivation to do anything today that i feel must be done. + faccume the stairs + do homework + walk dog + eat i donno anymore, i don't know where my life's going right now, it's scary...... Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Friday, September 3rd, 2004
8:59 pm	i felt the need to write but there is nothing to write.......... (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
12:55 pm	BOOOOOORRREEEDDD WELL I'M REALLY BORED SO I FEEL LIKE WRITTIN IN ALL CAPITALS. MARIE IS ABOUT TO COME OVER. WOOT WOOT..... BUT SHE HAS STRP THROAT POOR MARIE. ANYWAYS I HOPE I HAVE A GOOD DAY, I DON'T EVEN KNO WHAT I'M DOING TODAY!! GUESS WHAT, I GET TO HANG OUT WIT THIS GUY NAMED CHRIS HOMER(HEHE MR.HOMER) HES PERTTY COOL, REALLY HOT!!!! BUT I HAVE TO HELP OUT AT THE SANNICH FAIR ALL FUCKIN WEEKEND...BOO ITS STUPID, I GOT SO SICK LAST YEAR FROM ALL THE DUST. WELL I HOPE MARIE GETTS HERE SOON CUZ I'M REALLY BORED. YA WELL I'M GONNA QUIT SMOKING..... I THINK I CAN DO IT!! BUT I DONNO IF I HAVE ENOUGH MOTIVATION, I DONNO, I GUESS I'LL JUST TAKE IT AS IT COMES THEN..... HUMM.I WANT CHOCOLAT!!! YUMMY I HAD WAY TOO MUCH LAST NIGHT!!! THX CAMBO!!!! UR MY FAV BIG BRO!!! Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Friday, August 27th, 2004
11:10 am	booorrrrrrreeeedddddd well right now i'm at camosun collage. just sitting here listening for like an hour and a half about resumees!!! woot woot so much fun!!!! ya stuff is cool, **nicks apple** best i've ever had :-P ya these guys are ok kinda weird but hey. so ya i'm pertty damn bored right now...... just watching connor play some catr game. yupp what an exciting day so far huh?? Finnally its the last day of my week two long course!! its kinda sad cuz i've met some really cool pplz. but now i can finnally get ungrounded and go party it up with marie!!!! booya-grandmomiesederd.. ya don't ask about my crazy spelling, these words just come to me(mostly out of my nose but hey) lol ya you see what bordem does to a girl?? geeze i think it shoulf be break time cuz me tired and czn barly stay awake much longer!! but i gotta cuz marie is commin tomy grad thingy from here and then tonight we're gonna go out and have fun!!! i can't wait , i might get to see nic too!!!!!!yay!!!!! Current Mood: devious (Comment on this)
12:26 am	humm-dee-dumP *yes a capital P* well i'm just finshin up a course through camosun collage, it all abou trades like cars, welding, etc.. you know all the fun stuff, its really fun/interesting. well theres 28 people, and only 3 girls!! and we're slit up into groups of 14 and in my group i'm the only girl so its awesome. for our second week of this two weeklong course we went for tours aroun victoria. so driving in a huge van crowded wit guys. i do say it's qiute a fun time, i can observe the habits of boys frist hand!!! its acctually kinda grosse but still really fun!!! hey don't treat me any differently, and thats the way i like it, to be one of the guys cuz i can hold my own with them so its all good.... and if i do say so myself, ther are some really good looking guys in this bunch!!! i mean yummy!!! hummm what else... well i've been grounded for the past two weeks which isn't that bad, actually its been the best grounding of my life!!!! been taking the dog for long "walks" with marie (my bestest friend) i.e. partying it up with guys!!! woot woot, so many good times (oh gosh) LOL wow this has been my longest livejournal post yet!!! i'm pretty darn proud YAY well i just got in from a smoke after a nice relaxing shower. heh its like 12:30 teehee, well i'm hyper but i best be off i have to get up early again tomorrow!!! Current Mood: thirsty (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
6:35 pm	funest grounding!!!! i've had the funest grounding eveer!!!! marie slept over for two nights!!! we had so much fun together, i don't kno what i would do without her!!!! we stayed up late talkin with cam, walked around, visited friend ;)!!!! wow man it was sure fun... well het its always a partyy with marie!!!!! yay well one more week of grounding left... woot woot!!! well best be off,,,,, (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
6:16 pm	well i'm sapost to be goin out with this guy named Kyle right? well i havn't talked to him in about 4 weeks and now its really starting to piss me off. like geeze i've been really tryin to make it work outr between us because he lives in west van and i'm stunk here in victoria.... and like hes not even makin an effort to talk to me even, its really stupid. and now i'm gettin all these differetnt chances with a whole buch of really awesome guys and i donno what to do, like i love Kyle so much and don't want to lous him but at the time i don't want to lous these other chances. so i don't tknow hat to do anymore and so if anyone has any ideas on what i should do please feel free to leav me a comment i'd really appretiate it!!!!! Current Mood: chipper (5 Comments |Comment on this)